Chapter 4 - "I can't find your uterus"

Today is September 29th

(I am 11 weeks and 5 days today)

Baby still isn't taking up much real estate, although I went to a yoga class this morning and discovered that there were a few positions I couldn't do because it was just too much pressure on the gut.

Since my last post, I have met my midwife, Stacey. (I will write about the 'midwifery' experience after I meet my second midwife, Christy, at my next visit)

I also got to hear the heartbeat. (Sadly Mat didn't because he was working - he'll have to wait until the 18 to 20 week ultrasound)

Opting for the doppler ultrasound to hear the baby's heartbeat was kind of a hard decision. As I've been reading the materials my Doula has given me I've learned that there are some unfortunate ill-effects of ultrasounds that are possible, though not studied conclusively.

But sleepless night after sleepless night (peeing a thousand times in the middle of the night was definitely NOT my idea) was resulting in me spending too much time up thinking over things in my mind, things that don't really need to be thought about and that would spill over into my usual waking hours.

Finally I decided that the cons of anxiety FAR outweighed the cons of one extra ultrasound.

At 10 weeks, I called Stacey and was in her office 2 days later (she shorted her lunch break to fit me in - what OBGYN would do that?!). I stretched out on a comfy bed surrounded by pillows and blankets - instead of some hard sterile examination table with that horrible paper sheet.

At first she felt around my tummy 'looking' for the baby. She then said to me, "I can't find your uterus". It freaked me out for a second but then I laughed and said "Well, I don't think I've lost it or had it stolen".

Suspecting that the uterus was just tilted backward she told me she was very skeptical of being able to find the heartbeat if the baby was far back in.

I started praying. Praying that God would help her find it and that if she couldn't that everything would still be okay.

After a little while she found it, I heard a grand total of 4 beats and then laughed...causing Stacey to lose the heartbeat. I had to hold my breath after that to keep from laughing. What a cool answer to prayer!!!!

I prayed again and though it took a little longer she did find it again and we listened for a whole minute to this little tiny beat. As I listened I remembered wondering if it was a little boy's heart beating or a little girl's.

Only 6 more months to find out.